The Science-Backed Path to Better Child Nutrition
How to Stick to Your Jobs at Mealtimes: Part 3
This post is part of the series – Easy Bites Child Feeding Guide. With each post, you will learn how to build a positive and trusting mealtime relationship with your child, so you feel less anxious about their eating. This will also help children listen to their bodies and eat the amount of food that’s right for them. For more child nutrition guidance that is personalized for your family, download the Easy Bites App today.
In our last post about the Division of Responsibilities (DoR) we talked about how sticking to your jobs supports your child’s autonomy, helps them eat the amount they need, and puts an end to mealtime battles. We also put this theory into practice.
In this post, we are going to talk about why and how sticking to your mealtime jobs works and what you can expect if you keep at it. If you haven’t read Parts 1 and 2, take a look before you read on. If you’ve been keeping up, then read on for the DoR finale!
🤷♀️ Why and how does DoR work?
Being reliable and sticking to your job helps your child feel safe. They think - “I don’t need to worry about food - Mom and Dad are taking care of that.” 💪
Allowing children to do their job (deciding how much and whether to eat) fills their need for autonomy. As much as our kids need us, they also want to exert their independence. You see it when your toddler refuses to put away their toys, or questions why they need to go to bed. They are on their way to becoming fully formed humans, and part of that journey is making some decisions for themselves - including how much food they want to eat and whether or not they want to eat at all. 🌮🥝🙊
Sticking to your job reduces mealtime battles. Almost all fights over broccoli start when you try to do your child’s job for them - getting them to eat it! Feel free to use this as your excuse to sit back, relax, and enjoy your own meal! 🚫🥊
Providing clear and structured mealtimes, but not controlling how much or how little your child eats, helps your child to eat well. Fewer battles and better nutrition? Win-win! 🏆 (1)
🔮 What to expect when you start sticking to your jobs
Let's face it - this is not how most of us feed our kids. If you want to start, what should you expect? It can take time to perfect, so be kind to yourself if you make some mistakes.
There will be some testing of boundaries as your child learns the new rules. They may ask for snacks 100 times 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪 😤 to see whether or not you’ll cave. They may eat very little or a lot to see if you really trust them to eat what they need. Kids are experts at testing boundaries!
It might take your child a little while to figure out the new routine and listen to what their body is telling them - trust them to do it and give them time. Stick to it! The more consistent you are, the faster you will get over these hurdles and the sooner it all falls into place.
With Option 2, even though you just denied your child a banana and you may shrink inside - you clearly stated the rules while making sure your child’s idea was heard and considered. Way to go!
🥡 The Takeaway
We’ve covered a lot of information over this three-part series. Let’s summarize what we’ve learned so far:
You do the meal planning. I mean, really, who else is going to do it?
Always include one or two foods that your child accepts in every meal and snack. 🍓🧀
Include non-preferred or unfamiliar foods where you can, to help your child get used to them. Don’t worry about a magic number of exposures.
You decide the meal and snack routine - and don’t hand out snacks in between (stay strong! you can do it! 💪).
You decide where eating happens (pssst… at the kitchen table) 🤫
Do your best to create a positive relaxed atmosphere. 🧘♀️
Let your child decide how much and whether to eat the foods you have offered.
Consider your child’s needs and preferences while sticking to the boundaries.
Don’t ask your child what they would like to eat. There are other ways that you can involve them in mealtime prep.
Do a happy dance! You’ve taken your first steps towards mealtime mastery. 💃🕺
🏁 The End
Thanks for joining us on our DoR journey. And if you need a reminder of how to stick to your mealtime jobs, we’ve created this helpful infographic to keep you on track.
Until next time,
Easy Bites
1. Daniels, L. A. (2019). Feeding practices and parenting: A pathway to child health and family happiness. Annals of Nutrition and Metabolism, 74(2), 29-42.
